As most of you know, I’ve gained some weight dealing with this whole hives thing.

And I can’t work out. Any sweating results in immediate and long-lasting super-itchy hives.

So, after hearing a few co-workers raving about Weight Watchers, I joined the online program.

They had a “buy three months and don’t pay the sign-up fee” deal, so on Thursday afternoon I pulled out my credit card, and began tracking my points.

I had eaten more than double my allotted points.

Whoops.

The scale has been cruel to me lately. I got up as high as 206 pounds, 35 lbs more than my lowest recorded weight. I feel like a whale. Nothing fits me right, and I’m ALWAYS hungry. I had tried switching to healthier snacks, loading up on protein and fiber, but nothing was working. Recording calories was just making me feel gross. I could feel my pouch screaming at me. How could I have let it get this bad? Prednisone SUCKS. It started this whole downward spiral. Then I, literally, could not get enough food.

Also, BOREDOM doesn’t help. I can’t go outside in any sort of bright sun/warm weather for very long, before I start to break out into hives. I haven’t had a lot of extra cash lately, so what is there to do that is Free, Not Outside, and Not Eating? Not much, that’s for sure. I’ve been doing a lot of cooking, and trying to give away some of the food to my neighbors. That has been great, but it’s also resulted in my neighbors also giving me food. Really great for the sense of community (I love where I live) but not as awesome for my waistline.

Thankfully, I still have a pretty small pouch, I think. If I could just get some sense of satiety, I wouldn’t have as big of a problem with portion control. I need to do some more reading on how to influence the feeling of satisfaction. Even when my stomach is painfully full, I still want to eat. I don’t feel satisfied. Ever.

So, Weight Watchers.

At first I was extremely unimpressed. Their website doesn’t work on my Ubuntu computer (as I need flash and I’ve been too lazy to install it) and at work it’s really just not very shiny at all. The iPhone app is slightly better, far more user friendly, but still, for almost $20 a month I was expecting more.

The featured recipes so far are NOTHING I want to eat. The success stories sometimes talked about being able to avoid Weight Loss Surgery in such a “God forbid you do such a thing!” sort of way, which was a HUGE turn-off.

The points system is pretty confusing to someone who is only used to counting calories and protein. I do like the idea that you have a daily max, and then basically flex-points to be used on top of your max throughout the rest of the week. Helps you to splurge once in a while, reigning it in with a weekly max, and not feel guilty for failing but not going overboard. However, the points assigned to foods is not always consistent. For instance, a Banana has about 120 calories. A luna protein bar has about 120 calories. A banana is 0 points. A protein bar is 3 points. The rational behind this is that adults don’t eat enough fruits and veggies, so any whole, natural foods end up slightly lower in points. If you’re eating 30 bananas a day, you’re not going to lose weight. But the “Experts” insist that the human element will combat the actual calorie count and that you WILL lose weight if you stick to the program, no matter how many moderately-calorie-packed-zero-point-foods you eat. I have doubts.

(I believe this is Natalie Dee's artwork...www.nataliedee.com)

But, I went to the grocery store. Stocked up on fruits, veggies, chicken, Yasso frozen yogurt (only 2 Weight Watchers points!), and some SmartOnes frozen meals for work lunches.

The first day, Thursday, I used about twice of my daily allotment on trail mix alone. The rest of my day was in compliance, and I didn’t want to start this program totally in the hole, so I deleted the trail mix entry. Not exactly the most honest way to begin the program, but I had consumed all of that food prior to joining, and feeling like a failure on your first day isn’t the right way to start anything.

I am allowed 33 points per day, and then something like 49 points plus (flex-points) throughout the week. Friday I spent 38 points. Nabbad, right? Lots of bananas, raspberries, and apples though. I’m afraid to count up what that day was calorically. But: The program says I’m in compliance. So, onward!

Saturday was 35 points. Bananas, apples, nectarines, zucchini, summer squash, grapes, and chicken broth all made an appearance. Definitely feeling a, erm…change in my digestion at this point. This is way more fiber than my body has had in a long, long time.

So, today (right now, infact…) I’m going to head to the farmers’ market. I need some more berries. I suspect there won’t be any bananas on hand, but certainly some apples. Hopefully some berries. Probably some lettuce mix.

But… it’s working! I think…

Much earlier in the week I was 202 on the scale in the morning. This morning, 197.6. Unfortunately, that’s a pretty normal fluctuation for me. I’ve been floating around 196-200 for weeks now. I’m not going to throw in the towel yet….I already blew the sixty bucks on the program. Might as well stick it out for three months and see what happens. My weigh-in day is Sunday, so I’ll try to check in next weekend and let everyone know where I’m at.

Meanwhile, does anyone have any ideas for no-sweat workouts? The only thing I can think of is swimming, but it’s getting cold and to join a gym with a pool would be REALLY costly, and I’m broke. And all of the water aerobic classes seem to be during housewife hours when I’m at the office. When I try googling, I just end up finding “Get Thin Quick” schemes.

You know, I remember saying to myself “If I lose 120 pounds and gain back 20 pounds….that’s still a win.” and while that MIGHT be true, I basically did just that. I lost 117 pounds and gained back 30. It does NOT feel like a win. And I WILL NOT accept it. I still have faith that there is a brighter, thinner, healthier future for me.

New Goal: 150 pounds. Let’s do it.

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