My buddy Claire re-posted my Great Advice from an Inconsistent Source blogpost on Facebook, specifically the quote about how we lie to ourselves about food and I posted a comment to thank her. I wanted to save our thread for my own records, and thought you guys might appreciate it.

“It’s so true. I still lie to myself and I may (or may not) realize I’m doing it. Sometimes I realize as I’m lying (which may or may not stop me from inhaling those chocolates) and sometimes I realize it later, and sometimes i never realize it and I accuse the scale of being a liar. (or an asshole.). But we lie! Fatties ( AND under-eaters and purgers) LIE TO THEMSELVES. Dare to be honest with yourself. It will Hurt. But lick those wounds and reap the rewards of self-awareness.”

Claire responded:

“Being aware of what I eat and how much was the step away from eating like shit. When I start eating badly I always start ignoring what I’m putting in my body. It can be hard to do because there is so much shame and guilt associated with it, but once you’re able to divorce yourself from that lets you control yourself around food.”

I mostly agree with Claire. (but I think I totally agree with her intent.) Shame is counterproductive. Guilt can be okay though. Guilt is I did something bad. Shame is I AM bad. And I think that it’s important to separate the two.

Guilt should pang you when the scale doesn’t move for a month. I feel guilty I only lost two pounds. Guilt is obviating the mistakes I made. but I am NOT ashamed. I just didn’t achieve all of what I wanted, and that’s okay! I have my whole life ahead of me to work towards that.

Also, one of Claire’s friends brought up a good point. Life is not as black and white as I sometimes make it. I am a black/white thinker though, and so that’s how I communicate. It’s not this simple, and I think people who read me regularly know that deep down. Advice is just easier to take when it’s bite-size, even though fortune cookie-sized messages cannot be absolute. Apply it to your own life as you want (or not at all if you don’t want.) but this is just my experience.

I am one of billions, and not an expert. This is my story, and these are my truths (and lies) as I discover them.

So yes. There are genetics. Thyroids. Hormones. Injuries. Disabilities. Metabolisms. Hives. There are tons of factors that will alter how accurate (and helpful/hurtful) my advice is for you.

I am overweight. I will always be bigger than average, I think. But right now, I’m 75 pounds smaller than I used to be. And I refuse to believe that 75 pounds can be 100% attributed to my surgery, since there are countless stories of people who gain 100% of their post-op weight back, and some.

So, I’m pretty confident I’ve got something to offer the world and I’m not just completely full of it. Your mileage may vary.

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